Smarties are absolutely the currency of candy.  Those chalky, disgusting disc-shaped abortions of sugar are easily the worst candy invention ever made.  Nobody eats them, nobody likes them.  That’s why they’re used for currency.  Halloween?  Give them smarties.  Birthday at work?  Give them smarties.  There is no better way to show someone that you appreciate them less than a penny than by giving them a package of smarties.  At least bump that appreciation up to a nickle and give them some Hershey’s Kisses.  Nobody ever eats smarties either.  If you receive them, you immediately give them away to someone.  Then that person hands them off to someone else.  It’s like the chain letter of shitty candy……if you receive it, you have only a limited amount of time to pass those things off to someone else.  Then, mysteriously, when you do find someone that actually likes those little pieces of ass, they never like the white ones.  The company that makes smarties could have changed the flavor of white to creme brulee years ago and nobody would have ever known because nobody will touch them.  So the next time you’re celebrating something at work or debating what candy to hand out on Halloween, spare somebody the hassle of handing away their tube-like package of shit discs and cough up the extra scrilla for some fucking mini snickers.