Who the hell keeps whatever company that makes “NOW that’s what I call music volume blah” in business still?  Do they realize they’re buying a mix tape?  Do they realize that they can go download those songs on their computer and make their own NOW cd?  Do they realize that they can put whatever songs on their own mix cd they want instead of skipping Enrique Iglesias every time they listen to it?  Not to mention that these cd’s are pure shit.  Rihanna?  Fuck off.  Fergie?  Shoot me.  Gym Class Heroes?  If I hear that girlfriend song one more fucking time I’m going to drop kick the first person I see.  Garbage music on a cd that you could easily burn yourself?  And they’re up to volume 67.  VOLUME 67!!!!  I’m pretty sure the producers of these cds are two teenage girls sitting in their pink bedroom and burning a cd with all of their slut-tastic songs on it.  Even the title sounds like it was thought up by some sort of pre-pubescent.  If you’ve ever bought one of these cds, I want you to follow these steps:
1.)  Bash something solid against your head 32 times.
2.)  Send me a personal apology along with a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you back a picture of me with a condescending look on my face.  You keep that picture in your wallet at all times so you can know how disappointed I am in you.
3.)  Next time you get the urge to listen to “good” music, send me $15 and I will send you a burned cd with some actual good music on it where the lyrics aren’t literally spelled out for you and the musicians (Wait, what’s that?) write their own stuff and play their own instruments.