My girlfriend said something to me once that really stuck with me.  We were at Worlds of Fun waiting for a ride and kept noticing all of these older guys with these really young girls that looked like they were fresh out of the 7th grade.  With my girlfriend being 2 years younger than me, she felt this would be a good time to lean in close and whisper in my ear, “I’m going to get braces so people think you’re a pervert.”
Seriously, are these young girls really as young as they look, or are they fucking with these guys who are dating with them?  I mean, here you have a guy that looks like he’s growing the “See?  I can grow one too!” moustache, and a girl who’s wearing Crocs and a ringpop.  One  of these two are not acting their age, and I’m guessing it’s the girl.  Ladies, if you’re dating an older guy, don’t make him look like a skeevy playground-dweller by wearing lip smackers and friendship bracelets.  Nothing stamps “pedophile” on a guy’s head faster than a Spongebob t-shirt or a pink Swatch.  Just leave the poor guy alone and quit making people stare at him and contemplate pulling a “citizen’s arrest” to get a guy that looks like he should be getting paid to babysit away from a girl who’s rocking an Avril Lavigne t-shirt.  Seriously, nobody above the age of 14 listens to her, so people automatically assume your boyfriend is a statutory rapist.  And guys…want to help your case?  Stop growing the pedophile moustache.  I don’t care if you can only grow hair on your lip…..shave it off so you don’t look like a guy who drives a van and still sleeps on a water bed.  If you just follow these easy instructions, you will stop getting the disgusted look by people on the street and you will stop fathers from looking at you and immediately calling their daughters to ask, “Where the fuck are you?”