http://staticthinking.com This site is like porn for sarcastic people. Thu, 01 Jan 2009 20:24:17 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I was watching television today when yet another commercial for a two-year technical school comes on with another person's "real-life account" of how the school changed their lives.  Now, I have nothing against two-year technical schools (hell, one of the most successful people I know graduated from one), but these ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=69 So I'm watching tv the other day when, as usual, I'm bombarded with some sort of television ads for some new prescription medication, which just confuses me in the first place.  I thought doctors wrote prescriptions for something that would work best...I didn't know we had the power to go ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=68 All over the news recently, there's been reports that Kim Jong-Il may be dead, and that he's just using body doubles and look-alikes to trick the country into thinking he's still around. The difference between me and others is, when they hear it, they say, "Wow, that would change a lot ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=67 Smarties are absolutely the currency of candy.  Those chalky, disgusting disc-shaped abortions of sugar are easily the worst candy invention ever made.  Nobody eats them, nobody likes them.  That's why they're used for currency.  Halloween?  Give them smarties.  Birthday at work?  Give them smarties.  There is no better way to ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=66 Want to know what a brilliant business idea looks like? Go buy a Lunchables. Brilliant. I can see the Lunchables factory the first day it opened.....lots of machines, a conveyer belt, and 200 assembly workers. Then, just before the day begins, the CEO takes a look ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=65 Who the hell keeps whatever company that makes "NOW that's what I call music volume blah" in business still?  Do they realize they're buying a mix tape?  Do they realize that they can go download those songs on their computer and make their own NOW cd?  Do they realize that ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=64 Do you think that those Kidz Bop CDs are made in a sweatshop overseas also?  Like they just get a large group of children together, hand them lyrics and scream, "SING!  AND SOUND ABNORMALLY HAPPY!" and then send them each home with like 3 cents a day.  I can't understand ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=63 My girlfriend said something to me once that really stuck with me.  We were at Worlds of Fun waiting for a ride and kept noticing all of these older guys with these really young girls that looked like they were fresh out of the 7th grade.  With my girlfriend being ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=62 You ever met somebody that was really in to renaissance fairs?  They'd get all dressed up in this fucked up garb and go hang out with people that would talk weird, dress weird, and act weird?  Those are some messed up people.  I mean, why would anyone want to go ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=61 Ok, why the hell do boxers wear robes before they start fighting?  Is it a comfort thing?  Is it a mockery thing?  I know it would be pretty humiliating to be beaten up by someone that looked so damn comfortable ahead of time.  And if it is a comfort thing, ... http://staticthinking.com/?p=60